Life and mindset coach Jo Irving shares 20 practical ways to make everyday life feel less crowded, from protecting your attention and setting boundaries to finding room for proper rest.
There is a particular sort of exhaustion that comes from having a full day and still feeling as though you have accomplished very little. The emails have been answered, the errands completed and the diary consulted so often it might as well have its own seat at the dinner table.
Yet somewhere between all that activity, the time to think, rest or simply enjoy yourself has disappeared.
Finding ways to slow down can feel like another obligation, particularly when the advice involves elaborate morning routines or an entirely new approach to life. Fortunately, the changes needn’t be quite so ambitious.
Life and mindset coach Jo Irving advocates a more manageable approach: making small, deliberate changes to how we organise our time, direct our attention and respond to everyday pressures.
Her 20 suggestions offer a useful starting point. None requires abandoning your responsibilities, although a few might involve reconsidering just how many responsibilities you have volunteered to acquire.
Start by giving your time some breathing room
A crowded schedule doesn’t always mean every commitment deserves its place. Sometimes the first step towards feeling more present is looking at the diary and questioning how it became quite so enthusiastic.
1. Picture a week you would actually enjoy.
Before rearranging your schedule, imagine what a balanced week might look like. Include time for work and essential responsibilities, but also consider the activities and quieter moments you would like to protect. Work backwards from that picture rather than assuming rest will somehow appear.
2. Put your own time in the calendar first.
Irving encourages treating personal time as a genuine commitment. That might mean reserving an evening without plans, a lunch break or an hour for something you enjoy. It won’t always be possible to control your schedule completely, but recognising your own needs is a reasonable place to begin.
3. Learn to say no without making it a major production.
Not every invitation, request or opportunity needs an enthusiastic yes. Irving recommends distinguishing between things you genuinely want to do and those accepted mainly through obligation. Declining something kindly can make more room for commitments that matter.
4. Change how you think about being busy.
Constantly describing yourself as busy can make a packed schedule feel inevitable. Irving suggests thinking more deliberately about where your energy is going. Not every demand is optional, of course, but some deserve closer examination.
Protect your attention from the constant interruptions
Few things make a working day feel more fragmented than trying to do several jobs simultaneously. The temptation is understandable. Unfortunately, having six things open at once doesn’t necessarily mean six things are progressing.
5. Give one task your undivided attention.
Mono-tasking is a straightforward idea: concentrate on one activity before moving to the next. Rather than switching continuously between emails, messages and unfinished work, give yourself permission to finish something.
6. Try a dedicated hour of focused work.
Irving suggests setting aside 60 minutes for one project, with notifications silenced and interruptions reduced where possible. The purpose isn’t to race through your workload. It’s to create a period in which your attention isn’t being repeatedly pulled elsewhere.
7. Organise your day into realistic blocks.
Grouping similar jobs together can reduce the feeling of constantly changing direction. Just as importantly, leave gaps between commitments. A schedule without any spare room is unlikely to survive its first unexpected phone call.
8. Choose between clearing the decks and making progress on something substantial.
Some days are better suited to sorting out loose ends. Others offer an opportunity to tackle a project that needs proper thought. Irving suggests recognising the difference rather than expecting yourself to manage both equally well every day.
9. Notice where your attention disappears.
Endless scrolling, unnecessary commitments and habitual people-pleasing can quietly fill the available space. Recognising those patterns creates an opportunity to decide which ones deserve less of your time.
Make ordinary pauses part of the day
Slowing down doesn’t have to involve finding an entirely free afternoon. Small breaks can be introduced into routines that already exist.
10. Give yourself a phone-free start.
Resist the urge to begin the morning with notifications. Even a few minutes before checking messages can provide a quieter opportunity to consider what needs your attention that day.
11. Use your breathing as a pause between activities.
Irving recommends taking a few deliberate breaths when moving from one task to another. It is a simple opportunity to stop, notice how you feel and approach the next activity with a little more composure.
12. Check what you actually need.
Tiredness, frustration or difficulty concentrating might be reasons to reconsider your immediate demands. Pausing to notice whether you need food, movement, a break or a change of activity can make your next decision more deliberate.
13. Find a grounding practice that feels comfortable.
Irving suggests spending a moment barefoot on grass or imagining roots extending down from your feet. These can be approached as exercises in bringing attention to your surroundings, rather than techniques with guaranteed medical effects.
14. Take a walk without your phone.
A walk doesn’t always need a podcast, conversation or fitness target. Leaving the phone behind occasionally allows some uninterrupted time for observation, reflection or simply enjoying the surroundings.
Plan around your energy, not just your ambitions
A perfectly organised diary isn’t particularly helpful if it ignores how you feel throughout the day.
15. Pay attention to your natural rhythms.
Notice when concentration comes more easily and when your energy tends to dip. Where your circumstances allow, match demanding work to the periods when you feel more alert, leaving less intensive jobs for other times.
16. Question whether your activity matches your priorities.
There is a difference between getting through a long list and making progress on something meaningful. Irving encourages looking at whether routine activity has started to crowd out the work or personal commitments that matter most.
17. Consider tapping as an optional pause.
Irving also suggests Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), commonly known as tapping, for moments when your workload feels daunting. Anyone interested can regard it as a personal calming practice rather than a proven solution for stress or a replacement for professional support where needed.
Give your day a proper ending
One of the more difficult habits to change is the tendency to let work and unfinished responsibilities occupy every available minute.
18. Create a small end-of-day ritual.
Stretching, lighting a candle or taking a few quiet breaths can mark the transition between work and personal time. The activity matters less than making a conscious decision to finish for the day.
19. Write down what you have completed.
A conventional to-do list is an excellent record of everything still demanding attention. Irving’s alternative is a ‘done’ list, recording what you achieved instead. Small accomplishments count, particularly on days when progress has been less obvious.
20. Allow rest to remain rest.
Time away from activity doesn’t need to become another project with targets attached. Irving’s final suggestion is to recognise recovery and downtime as legitimate needs rather than rewards that must be earned through constant effort.
And perhaps that is the most useful distinction running through all 20 ideas.
There will still be demanding days, unexpected interruptions and obligations that cannot simply be declined. Slowing down is not about pretending otherwise.
It is about noticing where some choice remains and using it more deliberately.
A spare half-hour doesn’t always need filling. Sometimes the most sensible thing to do with it is absolutely nothing.
Jo Irving is a life and mindset coach. More information is available at joirving.com.
