Nicola Elliott
Infertility is far from rare, but mention IVF in a workplace context and you can almost hear the office kettle stop boiling. It’s estimated to affect one in four couples, yet plenty of people would rather discuss their browser history than admit they’re struggling to conceive—especially at work.
New research suggests that reluctance is not just a personal quirk; it’s a pattern. A study conducted by LinkedIn found that almost two-thirds (62%) of us wouldn’t speak to our bosses if we were struggling to conceive, often fearing it could hinder career prospects. In other words: people are carrying something enormous, then pretending it’s nothing at all—Monday to Friday, nine to five, with a smile stapled on.
Infertility has long been understood as a medical problem, but shame and secrecy still cling to it like a stubborn plaster. And when a topic becomes “taboo”, it doesn’t disappear. It simply goes underground—into sick days that aren’t really sick days, calendar invites titled “appointment”, and whispered phone calls in stairwells.
The trouble is, fertility treatment is not a neat, discreet errand you run at lunchtime. Aside from the physical effects of going through treatment, not getting pregnant after trying for a prolonged period can take a serious toll on mental health too, exacerbating anxiety, depression and a low sense of self-worth. If that’s not a workplace wellbeing issue, what is?
Worse still, silence doesn’t just isolate employees—it can confuse employers. The same research, conducted in partnership with Fertility Network UK, found that a third of those who did discuss their struggles discovered managers were unable to offer practical support. A fog of uncertainty is not kindness; it’s just uncertainty in a nicer suit.
So what should people actually do—especially those trying to juggle appointments, expectations, and the emotional roulette wheel that can come with IVF?
We put the questions to Lisa Finnegan, senior HR director for EMEA and LATAM at LinkedIn, for the sort of straight answers people deserve before they’re forced to improvise under pressure.
Are you legally entitled to take time off for fertility treatment?
Employers have a duty of care to their employees, meaning they should take all steps reasonably possible to protect health and wellbeing. That doesn’t automatically translate into a single, universal “IVF leave” rule across every organisation—but it does establish a baseline: this should be handled seriously, not shrugged off.
“Your employer should treat your medical appointments for IVF treatment like any other medical appointment,” says Finnegan, “so make sure you understand your own company’s policies around this.”
In practice, support can vary. Some workplaces may offer paid time off or unpaid leave for IVF treatment, while others may ask employees to use annual leave. The key point is not to guess—check your policy, and if it’s unclear, ask HR so you know what’s available before you’re trying to manage a clinic schedule on the fly.
How is it best to speak to a manager about taking time off if you’re going through treatment?
This is where many people freeze. Not because they don’t have the words, but because they fear what those words might cost them.
“There is no one-size fits all approach to tackling this issue, and I understand it can be a daunting topic to broach,” says Finnegan, “but we always encourage people to share their experiences with their HR teams and managers as soon as the process of fertility treatment moves into your work time.”
It’s also the practical reality: unexplained absences are rarely interpreted generously. If you have IVF appointments booked in, keeping your manager informed can prevent misunderstandings that only add stress to an already heavy load.
An email may feel safer, but a conversation—if you can manage it—often lands better, faster.
Finnegan says: “Many people find an open and honest conversation the best method, keeping it simple and sharing only the details you feel comfortable with.”
That last part matters. This isn’t a court deposition. You can be clear about what you need without giving away your entire emotional postcode.
Is it a good idea to speak to co-workers about it too?
Some people want privacy. Others want allies. Most people want a bit of both, depending on the day.
Finnegan suggests that confiding in one or two trusted colleagues can help, particularly if you need practical cover or emotional support during treatment cycles.
“This is a very personal subject and while it may help to avoid any uncomfortable questions if your colleagues know, do what feels best for you and what you think will help your unique situation.”
Translation: you’re allowed to choose your circle. And you’re allowed to change your mind.
What should you do if you feel like your boss isn’t providing flexibility or time off for treatments?
The first step is not a dramatic escalation—it’s clarity. Managers can’t fix what they don’t understand, and plenty of them are simply inexperienced with fertility journeys and IVF realities.
“I would recommend having an honest conversation with your manager in the first instance on what support you really need and in which areas. They may not be aware of where their help is falling short,” says Finnegan.
If that doesn’t shift anything, HR becomes the next port of call—because policy and consistency are literally what they’re there for.
“Chances are someone you know, or who is part of your network, has been through something similar.
“Making the most of your community and connecting with those who you feel most comfortable with can be a way of taking that first step to sharing your experience and finding support and advice on how to navigate the situation.”
There’s a blunt truth in there: isolation makes everything harder. Connection makes it survivable.
How can employers change office culture so people feel less isolated?
If staff don’t feel safe talking, they won’t talk. And when they don’t talk, organisations end up managing problems in the dark—badly.
“Changing an office environment to one that is open and supportive of these issues really boils down to having robust support policies in place and promoting these policies properly so women (and indeed men whose partners are going through a fertility journey), know they can have honest conversations with their employer,” says Finnegan
Policies that exist but aren’t communicated might as well be locked in a drawer. The point is to normalise support, not hide it like a guilty secret.
“For example, at LinkedIn we provide financial support for fertility treatment and adoption costs, as well as access to a 24/7 confidential support line.
“We know we can’t take away every part of the stress of this journey, but we can show that we’re there to support them through their journey, and I would encourage all employers to think about how they can do the same.
“In talking about fertility struggles more widely, we can help break down the taboo which has built for generations on this topic, so that in talking to colleagues we can be more mindful and understanding of their fertility journey and its impact on working life.”
What about fears that talking about baby plans could hurt your career?
In the UK, the Equality Act 2010 states employers can’t treat women unfairly because they’re pregnant, breastfeeding or because they’ve recently given birth. But law and lived reality don’t always stroll along hand in hand.
“It’s a sad fact that many women are worried about discrimination at work through discussing baby plans,” says Finnegan.
And yet the silence comes with its own cost—stress, secrecy, and the feeling you’re running two lives at once: the professional one everyone sees, and the private one shaped around appointments, results, and setbacks.
The bottom line is that trying to pretend IVF and work exist in separate universes is unrealistic.
“Trying for a baby will be the most significant thing in your life when you’re in the middle of it, and the idea that we do this in isolation from our working lives is unrealistic.
“Women need the confidence that their career progression will not be disadvantaged by talking openly about their hopes for a family, so I’d advise talking to colleagues who have tried for, or have a family, for some practical advice to ease your worries.”
Because if you can’t bring your whole self to work every day, you should at least be able to bring the part that needs basic human support.
