Elizabeth Berrett
If your summer strategy is to lead with a dating photo featuring sun, sea, and your bare chest, Dating.com has some blunt news: it may be doing the exact opposite of what you think it’s doing. In a new poll of its users, the site found a clear mismatch between what many men believe works on a profile and what women say they actually respond to.
The headline number is hard to wriggle out of: on average, men with shirtless pictures on their profiles get 25% fewer matches. That’s not a minor dip; that’s the algorithmic equivalent of showing up to the first tee with a driver and forgetting the golf balls.
And yet, despite the evidence, confidence remains undefeated. Nearly 90% of men surveyed believe shirtless photos help their chances of landing a match. The problem is, the audience they’re trying to impress often reads the signal very differently.
What Women Say a Shirtless Dating Photo Really Signals
According to Dating.com’s survey, 66% of women say shirtless images imply a lack of maturity and self-awareness. In other words: it’s not that women “don’t like fitness” or “hate confidence.” It’s that a shirtless profile picture can come across as trying too hard—like a sales pitch before anyone’s even opened the brochure.
It gets more specific when intentions are on the table:
- 76% of women said they’d be unlikely to consider dating a man with shirtless images for a committed relationship.
- 15% would be open to a hookup.
- 9% would consider a friendship.
So if you’re looking for something serious, that beach-body dating photo could be positioning you in the “fun for five minutes” lane—whether that’s fair or not.
The Double Standard? Women in Swimwear See a Boost
Here’s where it gets interesting. The survey found one out of every five female profiles contains at least one bikini/bathing suit picture—and that group saw a more than 40% increase in match rates compared to women with more covered-up photos.
Meanwhile, men are far more likely to roll the dice on skin: three out of every five male dating profiles reportedly include at least one shirtless picture.
Fair? Not always. Real? Apparently.
LGBTQ+ Users: More Skin, More Often
The poll also found that members of the LGBTQ+ community are four times more likely to include a shirtless picture in their dating profile. Different audiences, different norms—and a useful reminder that context matters. The “right” dating photo is rarely universal; it depends on who you’re trying to attract and what you’re trying to build.
If You Must Flex, Do It Like an Adult
Dating.com’s advice isn’t anti-confidence; it’s anti-misfire. If your profile is currently a parade of mirror selfies and holiday abs, their recommendation is to take a measured approach:
- Audit your profile and swap shirtless pictures for images that show your personality without shouting for attention. Think family, pets, travel—the things that make you look like someone with a life, not just a camera roll.
- Hold back on “showing skin” until you’ve actually established rapport. Leading with shirtless dating photos can signal that appearance is the main event.
- If you want the natural reveal, plan a beach date and let it happen in real life, not as a first impression gimmick.
That approach also has the minor advantage of letting chemistry do some of the heavy lifting—rather than relying on a single dating photo to carry your entire personality up the hill.
Expert View
Dating.com says the goal here is simple: fewer mismatches, more meaningful connections, and fewer people unknowingly sabotaging their profiles.
“We’re here to make online dating more effective for all involved by sharing what we know about dating preferences,” says Maria Sullivan, dating expert and Vice President of Dating.com. “As masses of new users enter the online dating scene, given the current lack of in-person relationship-building opportunities amid the pandemic, we want to inform the public of common profile pitfalls before they miss out on a match.”
The Practical Takeaway for Your Next Dating Photo
If you’re chasing more matches, treat your dating photo like a handshake, not a billboard. You can still look good, still show confidence, still hint at fitness—but the smartest profiles lead with warmth and personality, then let the rest be discovered.
Because the truth is: if your first impression screams “Look at me,” it may be quietly telling the wrong person, “This is all there is.”
Quick FAQs
Do shirtless photos really reduce matches?
Dating.com’s survey says men with shirtless photos get 25% fewer matches on average.
Are shirtless photos ever a good idea?
They may perform differently depending on audience and intent, but for people seeking committed relationships, women reported strong reluctance.
What should I use instead of a shirtless dating photo?
Photos that show your personality: travel, hobbies, pets, friends/family, and one clear, well-lit head-and-shoulders shot.
