Nicola Elliott
Sexual health is one of those topics people joke about in the pub—then whisper about in real life. And that gap between banter and honesty is exactly where embarrassment, bad advice and old wives’ tales go to breed like rabbits.
We spoke to Manual’s medical director, Dr Earim Chaudry, who’s on a mission to drag the subject out of the shadows—especially the parts society still labels as “taboo”. The aim here isn’t shock value. It’s clarity. Because when it comes to sexual health, misinformation doesn’t just waste time—it can waste confidence, intimacy and, occasionally, your Saturday night.
Below, Dr Chaudry answers the questions people actually ask (and plenty more quietly Google at 1 am).
Is masturbation bad for you?
If you’ve been warned it’ll ruin your eyesight, your fertility, or sprout a surprise wig on your hands—congratulations, you’ve met the myth factory.
Dr Chaudry is blunt: Going blind, growing hair on the back of your hands, and becoming infertile from masturbation are all myths.
In fact, masturbation is safe and considered a normal and common part of human sexuality.
It’s usually the first sexual experience that most people have, and can be a valuable part of experimenting with what you like and don’t like.
It’s also a convenient way to fulfil sexual desires, and it’s safe from an STI and pregnancy risk point of view.
So all positive so far about masturbation. However, it’s only more recently it’s not taboo to talk more openly about it.
There is no fixed amount of masturbation that is considered “normal”. However, masturbation can become harmful to you if you find it is interfering with your everyday life, or impacting your ability to have or want sex in a loving relationship.
This can in some people be linked to porn addiction. If you feel this is becoming a concern, it’s best to speak with your doctor.
Straight talk: if it’s not disrupting your life, it’s generally not the villain of the piece. If it is disrupting your life, that’s your cue to get proper help—not another doom-scroll.
Why does it hurt when I have sex?
Sex is meant to be enjoyable. If it hurts, your body isn’t “being dramatic”—it may be sending you a message worth listening to.
Sex should be a pleasurable experience for both people (or everyone, if you have more!) However painful sex is quite common.
If you are experiencing pain, it can be your body’s way of telling you something isn’t quite right.
Usually, it’s a case of not enough foreplay, lack of sexual arousal or vaginal dryness.
Starting sex gently and building up is a good tip. However, there are other important causes such as infection (STI, thrush), gynaecological conditions (such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease).
It’s also important to know that men can also experience pain from sex. The common causes tend to be a tight foreskin, thrush, tears/irritation of the penis or foreskin and STIs.
Practical takeaway: don’t grit your teeth and “power through”. Pain isn’t a performance review. If it keeps happening, get checked—especially if there are signs of infection, bleeding, or ongoing discomfort.
How long does sex last?
If you’ve ever looked at the clock mid-action and thought, Is this… normal?—welcome to the club. But Dr Chaudry says the measuring tape belongs back in the toolbox.
It’s important to remember that porn is NOT a documentary, so the duration of the sex in these videos are not always realistic of real life.
One study we have to estimate the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period.
