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Sinitta Baby Steps

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It’s the First Of February 2021, I hope you and your loved ones are all healthy and content. 

This 3rd Lockdown has been the most challenging for me. Even though I had Covid 19 during the first one!

January I was lazier and less motivated, I think because I drank every day over Christmas and ate too much junk food and it’s something I never usually do too much of either. I literally thought I was giving myself a break from being over disciplined and careful!

If anything it has actually done the opposite and made it much harder to get myself back together. 

Anyway as they say New Year new start and that’s what I put my mindset to, I did a Dry January at least but now I am determined to get my act back together because I was starting to feel weepy , anxious, worried and uncertain about work, my love- life, my face, my hair, my body, Everything Really!

It seems  to me like the more time we have to focus on ourselves, the more things wrong with us we find to focus on!

I realise now that being so self critical is actually aggressive and unkind behaviour like bullying! Even if your aggression is turned inwards onto yourself, in fact it’s almost worse because what you say and think is what you believe, so it’s deeper and has an actual effect on your feelings and functioning. 

Whereas someone else saying things at least it is just their opinion, although it can still be really hurtful. 

I want to come out of this LockDown Stronger, Calmer, Healthier, Rested, Wiser, Inspired and Inspiring to others. Generous and Energised to be able to communicate physically and openly with people again

I want to channel this monotonous loneliness into an opportunity to reach out to you and give you a hand so it’s not so bad for you either if you need it. 

I admit it has been a real struggle, I am a naturally upbeat and optimistic person. So if I am feeling down and tired of this way of living, I can only imagine how those who are not as naturally cheerful are feeling. I am sorry and I truly wholeheartedly feel for you.

I am not necessarily trying to cheer you up, although It would be lovely if I am able to do that too. But more to help you and me find our internal resilience and connect to the source that stops us giving up and giving in to the worst sides of ourselves. The Suicidal side, the Angry, Negative, Aggressive, Frightened and Destructive sides. 

Let’s  be real, we all have suffering and difficulties. Some of us cope better then others. 

I did really well the first time, this time I am  having to work hard to keep my head and out look up!

I know we will get through this and all will be fine, we just have to Get Through this Part with a healthy and whole mind, body and spirit. It’s not just Mental Health, it is Emotional and Spiritual health too.

People who hate to be alone are suddenly having to spend months alone… confronting whatever the fear of being alone is all about… That is tru;y some scary stuff to be dealing with right there!

We are having to learn to like ourselves and to love ourselves and to be kind and responsible for ourselves… there are no escapes…. not healthy ones at least!

We can walk , work out . talk to friends and family, play games and watch tv  etc, but actually

I believe it is good to take this unique experience and use this time to really get to know ourselves, properly And anyone we are in touch with.

What do we think about? Care about? Not care about ?

Get a notebook or use voice notes in your phone and make a note each day of at least one important thing you learned about yourself or your feelings or your outlook on something..

We have the time now, let’s not waste it.  Especially not wasting it beating ourselves up about not being good enough or for not being better then we are.. you wouldn’t do that to your  best friend, your lover or your child or your mother. So don’t do it to yourself, deal?!

Do reflect on the things you can and will improve and then straight away take action, no need to procrastinate. Literally jump up and start right now!

I jumped  out of bed today and did ten minutes of exercise before walking my dog!

It was annoying, it was tough! But I did it! I may do 2 mins more later and five mins more later after that.

It all adds up but even if I don’t do any more today , I have done ten Minutes which is more than I did yesterday!

Drink water, force yourself! Try to do one glass after every one minute of exercise…

Do it five – 10 x a day and you will start to feel and look different without actually putting yourself through anything too difficult or uncomfortable.

Hydration is everything, especially when locked in heated rooms for weeks and weeks!

“Baby Steps “as I like to say 

Sending you Love

S 💋