For many people, journaling has become one of the integral parts of their daily self-care routines. It allows you not only to identify your career or fitness goals but also to keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and dreams, positively affecting your mental health. However, one metric is frequently overlooked in the process of journaling – your sexual life.
Keeping a sex journal doesn’t necessarily imply creating a list of names of people you’ve had sex with but instead aims to help you process your experiences.
Here I explain what a sex journal actually is and how to write one, along with the most prominent benefits it can bring. The latter include becoming more mindful of your sexual health, exploring your steamy fantasies, learning more about your sex drive, and even improving communication between you and your partner.
What Is a Sex Journal?
In simple terms, a sex journal is your personal notebook, in which you document your sexual experiences when it comes to accounting for all your sexual encounters as well as noting down your sexual dreams or changes in libido. It may also help you identify certain patterns and recognize signs of sexual dysfunction. The journal can be either physical or digital.
If you opt for a physical one, make sure to store it in a secure place where no one else can access it – as confident as you may be about your sex life, such a notebook is rather an intimate piece of writing, and you probably want to keep your dreams about a sex doll for women to yourself.
If you prefer to keep your sex journal digitally, there are plenty of apps that allow you to do so, from simple note-taking apps to complex mood trackers where you can organize your writing better.
How to Keep a Sex Journal?
Now that you know what a sex journal is and why you should keep one, let’s see how to do it. There are three ways to go about it:
- Aggregated approach. In this case, you simply type in ideas about your sex life and answer questions about various aspects of it. This method is great for those who find it difficult to keep track of their sexual experiences but want to know more about them.
- Day-by-day. This is the most common way to keep a sex journal. This method requires keeping a detailed record of each and every sexual experience, including feelings, emotions, and thoughts you had during intercourse.
- Weekly. This approach is great if you want to learn more about how your sex drive and fantasies change during a certain period. With this method, you don’t need to write down each and every sexual experience. Instead, you can create a list of questions that will help you better understand your sexual needs and desires.
Benefits of Keeping a Sex Journal
Keeping a sex journal can give you a much deeper insight into your sex life, from understanding your moods and identifying patterns to improving communication with your partner. The most prominent benefits of keeping a sex journal include:
Identifying Patterns
Keeping track of your sexual encounters allows you to identify certain patterns, such as a certain time of the day when you are most likely to have sex or a type of person with whom you feel most comfortable.
Understanding Your Moods and Feelings
You might have had a bad day at work or simply forgot to get enough sleep, which is why you had an argument with your partner or simply didn’t feel like having sex. Keeping a sex journal helps you identify your moods, so you can deal with them before anything goes wrong.
Keeping Track of Your Sexual Health
If you have chronic pain, for example, you can use your sex journal to keep track of how it affects your sexual experience. This can be very helpful to your doctor, who might prescribe medical treatment once he sees that there is a connection between your pain and no desire to have sex.
Learning More About Your Sex Drive
Keeping a sex journal allows you to understand your body and mind more thoroughly. It is a great way to identify the triggers that influence your desire to have sex. For example, you might notice that having sex with a certain person affects your libido in a positive way while having intercourse with others makes you feel bored.
Improving Communication with a Partner
If you have a partner, it is essential to understand each other well. One of the most effective ways to do that is by sharing your feelings about sex and sexual experiences. Keeping a sex journal allows you to do just that.
You can flip through it the next time you are in bed with your partner or ask questions while reading what happened in previous days. That will allow you to talk more openly about your needs and desires.
Exploring Your Steamy Fantasies
This is another great benefit of keeping a sex journal. Journaling allows you to identify what turns you on and how you can make your sexual experience even better. It can also help you understand what kind of sex you prefer, which helps you in the long run.
Keeping a sex journal can be beneficial both to individuals and couples. It is an excellent way to keep track of your sexual experiences, which makes it a great tool for your physical and mental health. However, it is important to keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way to do it.
What’s most important is that you feel comfortable, enjoy keeping a sex journal, and, of course, have fun!