Sex positions for back pain might not be a topic you’d casually bring up at Sunday brunch, but let’s face it—if your back is already giving you grief, the bedroom can feel like a landmine.
Even though back pain and sex don’t often share the spotlight, ignoring that discomfort between the sheets can derail intimacy faster than a cold shower.
I spoke with Dr. Gbolahan Okubadejo, a leading Orthopedic and Spinal Surgeon in the NYC area, to get the lowdown on how to navigate this tricky terrain and maintain a fulfilling sex life.
A Growing Concern
Back pain during sex is surprisingly common—72% of sexually active respondents say they’re less active in the bedroom once the pain sets in.
Yet sex is a cornerstone of many healthy relationships, so it’s worth learning a few helpful moves that put less strain on your spine. Here’s how to give your back a break while keeping the fire alive.
1. Extension-Intolerant Women
If your pain flares up when you arch your back (that’s extension for you non-spine nerds), steer clear of doggy style—it can force you into that dreaded arch.
Missionary position is often the best bet here: bend your knees slightly and keep your lower back supported. You’ll stay in a more neutral, pain-free posture.
2. Extension-Intolerant Men
For men who find an arched back excruciating, consider missionary or spooning. These positions let your back stay relatively flat, rather than forcing you into a painful flex-and-extend routine.
Doggy style? Probably best to put that on the bench if you’re extension-intolerant.
3. Flexion-Intolerant Women
This type of pain is triggered by bending the torso forward. If that’s you, spooning or doggy style should be your go-to choices, since both minimise how much you bend your spine.
Missionary, on the other hand, might cause more forward flexion than expected, so proceed with caution.
4. Flexion-Intolerant Men
If your lower back shrieks when you bend forward, avoid spooning. Twisting into a side-lying position can aggravate your spine and cramp your style.
Instead, doggy style might be the knight in shining armour, letting you use your hips and knees rather than relying on your spine for the heavy lifting.
5. Grab the Ointment (But Wash Your Hands!)
A topical pain relief cream can be a game-changer if applied before the main event. Just be mindful to wash your hands before any more, er, intimate contact—nobody wants a surprise tingle in the wrong spot.
6. Get Creative with Intimacy
If intercourse feels like a bad idea on a bad back day, explore other avenues to keep the connection alive. Think playful massages, oral exploration, or simply focusing on full-body closeness. Sometimes, the route to intimacy doesn’t require the usual script.
7. Consider an Anti-Inflammatory
Over-the-counter meds like ibuprofen or naproxen can help with that nagging ache. Just remember not to blow past the recommended doses—there’s no reason to trade back pain for an upset stomach or worse.
When it comes to sex positions for back pain, the bottom line is this: communication is key. Be open with your partner about what hurts and what helps.
With the right mix of caution and creativity, you can keep the spark alive without making your back pay the price. After all, a healthy sex life shouldn’t have to be on the disabled list just because your spine needs a little extra TLC.