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What Causes the Valentine’s Day Blues?

woman holding valentine gift depressed

Valentine’s Day can pose significant challenges for single individuals due to various factors.

The cultural emphasis on romantic love and relationships during this holiday often makes single people feel excluded or inadequate, especially when surrounded by couples’ celebrations.

The pressure to be in a romantic relationship or to engage in elaborate Valentine’s Day plans can intensify feelings of loneliness or frustration for those who are not currently partnered.

Moreover, the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, with its focus on extravagant gifts and romantic gestures, can further exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and isolation.

Social media platforms, with their idealized portrayals of romantic relationships, can also contribute to these feelings.

Additionally, for individuals who have experienced heartbreak or loss in past relationships, Valentine’s Day may serve as a painful reminder, amplifying feelings of sadness or grief.

I spoke with Mason Farmani an intuitive life coach based in Palm Beach, Florida. He offers guidance on coping with this holiday if you are single.

Why Do Some People Experience Depression on Valentine’s Day?

Breakups and Relationship Issues: For individuals who have recently gone through a breakup or are experiencing relationship problems, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of their current situation.

Loneliness: Those who are single or feel lonely may feel left out or inadequate when surrounded by images of romantic love and couples celebrating the day.

Unrealistic Expectations: The pressure to create a perfect and romantic day can lead to feelings of stress and disappointment if expectations are not met.

Comparison and Envy: Seeing others in happy relationships or receiving extravagant gifts can trigger feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, leading to sadness and depression, especially when your standard is what is portrayed in social media. 

Commercialization of Love: Some individuals may feel cynical about the commercialization of Valentine’s Day, viewing it as a superficial and materialistic holiday.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Valentine’s Day falls during the winter season when daylight is scarce, which can exacerbate symptoms of SAD, a mood disorder characterized by depressive symptoms.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with depression on Valentine’s Day:

1.        Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important to recognize and accept your emotions, including any sadness or loneliness you may be feeling. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Try self-compassion instead.

2.        Reach Out for Support: Don’t hesitate to contact friends, family members a coach, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone you trust to be helpful about your feelings can provide comfort and perspective.

3.        Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote self-care and well-being. This could include walking, practising mindfulness or meditation, taking a relaxing bath, lighting up a candle for yourself or indulging in your favourite hobby.

4.        Limit Exposure to Triggers: If seeing Valentine’s Day-related content exacerbates your feelings of depression, consider limiting your exposure to social media, television, or other sources of romantic imagery.

5.        Create Your Own Meaning: Remember that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be solely about romantic love.

You can use the day as an opportunity to celebrate love in all its forms, including your love for yourself, your friends, your pets, or your family members.

Make it a practice to send loving and gratitude notes to your good friends.  

6.        Plan a Self-Love Ritual: Consider engaging in activities that promote self-love and appreciation.

This could involve writing yourself a love letter, treating yourself to a special meal or dessert, or pampering yourself with a spa day at home.

Studies have shown that if you do this the day before Valentine’s Day you will be better prepared for your feelings. 

7.        Volunteer or Give Back: Helping others can be a meaningful way to shift your focus away from your own struggles. Consider volunteering at a local charity or performing random acts of kindness for others.

8.        Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your feelings of depression persist or become overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a coach or a counsellor. This can provide you with coping strategies and support to navigate difficult emotions.