In an era dominated by social media, friendship has transformed, with virtual connections often blurring the lines between genuine companionship and illusionary bonds.
The allure of amassing online friends can sometimes overshadow the importance of fostering real, meaningful connections.
Sometimes, the longing for a real friend connection gets temporarily satisfied with an online reach for connection and a few “likes.”
However, the depth of a true friendship is measured not by the number of online connections but by the willingness of friends in real life to stand by you and show up when you need them.
Friends physically present, the ones you can connect with face-to-face and count on, can create more profound and meaningful connections than those you only know from social media.
Being in each other’s physical presence allows for genuine moments, shared experiences, and a level of understanding that transcends the virtual interactions found on social platforms.
However, as an adult it can be difficult to break through the patterns to make new friendships and maintain old ones.
I spoke with Mason Farmani, an Intuitive Personal and Corporate Life Coach in Palm Beach, Florida for tips on how to foster friendships IRL as an adult.
How Social Media Fools You:
Visible Social Connections: Social media prominently displays the number of friends, followers, or connections a person has.
This visible count can give the impression of a large social circle, even if the quality of those connections is questionable as most of the time they were established only by a click of a button.
Engagement Metrics: Likes, comments, and shares on posts can make users feel validated and connected.
However, these interactions may not necessarily reflect genuine friendships, as people may engage with content for various reasons, including social norms, reciprocation, and peer pressure.
Curated Content: Users often share carefully curated content that portrays their lives in a positive light.
This selective sharing can create an idealized version of reality, making it seem like everyone else has perfect lives and strong connections.
Algorithmic Feeds: Social media algorithms show users content based on their preferences and interactions.
This can create a filter bubble where users see content aligned with their existing beliefs and interests, reinforcing the sense of connection with like-minded individuals.
Instant Gratification: Social media provides instant feedback and gratification through notifications and messages.
This can lead users to associate online interactions with real friendships, even though the depth of these connections may be limited.
Personalised Recommendations: Platforms use sophisticated algorithms to suggest friends or connections based on mutual connections, interests, or demographics.
This can give the impression that the platform is helping users build meaningful relationships.
Where it Lacks
Limited Interaction: Online interactions are often limited to text, images, or short videos. While this allows for some form of communication, it may need more depth and richness of face-to-face interactions, making it harder to develop a deep connection.
Selective Sharing: People tend to share the highlights of their lives on social media, creating curated versions of themselves.
This selective sharing may not fully represent the complexities and challenges that individuals face, leading to a superficial understanding of each other and often leading to envy and jealousy.
Lack of Physical Presence: Traditional friendships often involve shared physical experiences and activities.
Social media friends may not be physically present in your life, making it challenging to build the same level of intimacy and shared memories.
Online Persona vs. Reality: Individuals may present a different persona online compared to their real selves.
This can create a disparity between the online image and the actual personality, potentially leading to misunderstandings or misinterpretations.
Superficial Connections: The ease of connecting with people online can result in a larger number of connections, but not all of these connections may be deep or meaningful.
Due to the sheer volume of online interactions, some social media relationships may remain at a surface level.
Limited Emotional Support: While social media can provide emotional support, it may not offer the same level of empathy, understanding, and immediacy as face-to-face interactions.
Real friends are often there for each other in need, offering tangible support beyond online messages. They show up to hold your hands through tough times.
Transient Nature: Social media connections can be transient, with people entering and leaving your online network more frequently than in offline friendships.
This fluidity may impact the stability and longevity of relationships and emotional well-being.
Tips on making friends in real life:
Join Clubs or Classes:
Participating in activities you enjoy allows you to meet people with similar interests. Whether it’s a book club, a fitness class, or a cooking workshop, shared hobbies create a natural environment for building connections with like-minded individuals. Shared passions create a strong foundation for lasting friendships.
Professional networking events: Attending professional networking events or industry conferences can help you connect with people with similar career interests.
These events often provide opportunities for both professional and social networking.
Turn coworkers into friends:
If there’s a coworker you believe you’d connect with outside of work, consider taking small steps to build a friendship.
While maintaining a balance between work and personal life is crucial, the workplace is often fertile ground for meeting friends who share similar passions. Start with a casual lunch invitation to gauge interest and comfort levels.
Join a Meetup:
Joining a Meetup is an excellent way for adults to expand their social circles and meet new friends.
Meetup groups cater to a wide range of interests, making it easy to find one that aligns with personal hobbies or passions.
Whether it’s hiking, photography, or book clubs, Meetup provides a platform for like-minded individuals to come together and share common interests.
Attending Meetup gatherings allows adults to discover new activities and forge genuine friendships with people who share their enthusiasm.
Join a sports league:
Joining a sports league, such as kickball or pickleball, is a fantastic avenue for adults to make friends while staying active.
By participating, adults can enjoy the dual benefits of physical fitness and the opportunity to build genuine connections with fellow sports enthusiasts in a fun and social setting.
Get involved in local charitable organisations close to your heart:
Get involved in local charitable organizations close to your heart. For instance, if you’re an animal lover, numerous organisations host events and initiatives centred around animal welfare.
By actively participating, you contribute to a meaningful purpose and connect with individuals who share your passion.
Join a local support group:
If you are dealing with addiction, consider joining a small therapy group or a 12-step program. These groups offer a non-judgmental space to share experiences, struggles, and successes.
As you attend regular meetings, you work towards personal growth and establish genuine connections with fellow members.
Take your dog to pet parks:
Taking your dog to pet parks creates opportunities for you to connect with other pet owners.
Dog parks serve as natural meeting grounds, fostering community among individuals who love animals.
As your dogs interact and play, striking up conversations with other dog owners can lead to genuine friendships built on a common bond of pet companionship.